When the research emerged in July last year estimating that at least 10 000 children have been bereaved of a primary caregiver across the UK due to the pandemic (Hillis et al, 2021), there was nothing.
No headlines, no awareness and once again children and young people's grief and experiences were quietly ignored.
When you consider that – according to estimates from the Childhood Bereavement Network (CBN, no date) – more than 50 000 children have had a parent, guardian or carer die from other causes over the last 20 months, it has never been so important to talk to our children and young people about their experiences and their grief.
Bereavement is a tricky subject to talk about. As a society, we don't talk about it often, and many people feel awkward discussing death, dying and bereavement with those closely affected. We don't have the right words to say, we feel uneasy, we don't want to cause further pain or grief.
The CBN believes we should be talking about it. That a society that talks about grief and bereavement is a healthier society, a supportive society and one that helps to prepare children and young people for the many types of loss they will encounter in their lifetime, including bereavement.
We also believe that the best way to find out what support our children and young people need is to ask them. Together with our partners in the UK Commission on Bereavement, we launched a series of national surveys for bereaved children and young people of all ages, a key opportunity for bereaved young people to talk about their experiences: what helped and what could be improved.
The CBN has a range of resources to help support bereaved young people. From our free Growing in Grief Awareness whole-school approach, to our postcards to help young people signal what they need from teachers and other adults in their life, and to our local support map, there are many ways we can provide you with the resources you need to create and maintain safe spaces in your setting for bereaved young people.
Our members – Child Bereavement UK, Grief Encounter and Winston's Wish – all have lesson plans and support on offer for those working with children and young people in educational settings. Many of our local members can provide training and support.
Finally, your own wellbeing is paramount. Dealing with grief and bereavement can be daunting and also exhausting, particularly if you have also been bereaved. Make sure you are aware of what support is available to you, from Cruse Bereavement Support and local bereavement services.
‘No headlines, no awareness and once again children and young people's grief and experiences were quietly ignored.’
FURTHER INFORMATION
Childhood Bereavement Network
Growing in Grief
Awareness Toolkit: https://childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk/if-you-need-help-around-death/schools/growing-grief-awareness
Child Bereavement UK
www.childbereavementuk.org
Cruse
www.cruse.org.uk
Grief Encounter
www.griefencounter.org.uk
Winston's Wish
www.winstonswish.org